As September draws near, I'm meeting it with great anxiety as well as anticipation. Anxiety because I will be stepping out of my comfort zone and trying something new, and anticipation because it brings me that much closer to vacation! If I'm being honest, I'm also excited about some of my favorite TV shows coming back. =)
I know it's good to step out and try something new every now and then. It's been a while since I've done it. But now, as the day draws near, I'm worried as to how it will go. I've never considered myself to be a teacher. I'm terrible at getting a point across most of the time, if I remember the point in the first place. That's pretty much why I didn't go into teaching. But as of September 2nd, I'm going to start teaching an acting class. I was approached about it earlier this summer and finally decided to give it a try. I'm excited in some ways because I'm finally gonna get paid to do something in a field I love... I just hope those poor kids actually learn something from it. I'm sure I'll learn more than they will.
This fall promises to be rather busy. The acting classes are only one night a week and will only be for an hour or so (Yay). Another night has me doing a study with a couple of sweet friends and then going for "tv date-night" with one of my sissies. Then Wednesday evenings are packed with church and getting my home ready for (and then recovering from) High School boys.
It all looks to be quite fun and even fulfilling in many ways. I'm sure Christmas will come all too fast (commercially, it IS already showing up in stores) and then we'll be looking back over the year making new resolutions and plans.
Friday, August 27, 2010
Friday, August 20, 2010
Random: Spoiled
I have to say that I constantly feel spoiled by my husby (to steal a word from my dear friend). John is so good to me all of the time. He makes me laugh constantly. He's patient with me even when I'm over-dramatic about something or when he's being neglected. He makes the things I worry about seem smaller or insignificant (which, most of the time, they are quite meaningless... I'm just a worrier).
And then there's the way he takes care of me. We've been married 8 1/2 years and he still opens doors (including my car door) for me. Not because I can't, but because, as he says, he "wants to show that he honors me" by doing so. He provides for our little family of 2... which will hopefully expand one of these days. He encourages me and holds me on those rare occasions where I actually cry. He puts my needs above his, which constantly makes me strive to do the same for him.
More than anything, the thing I think I appreciate the most about John is that he's taught me what love really is. Ephesians 5:25 says, "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her..." I don't think I ever would have understood this verse and the following verses had I not married John. He's told me over and over (in our 'newly' years of marriage, especially) that love is not just a word, but an action. After I realized that, though we may speak different love languages, he was loving me in his own way, it made me appreciate him all the more. The poor guy just kept trying to make me happy, even though what would make me happy would constantly change!
Love is a two-way street. When I finally learned to love him the ways he needed to be loved, our relationship grew dramatically. It was no longer me trying to do things this way while he was trying things another way... we kind of... met in the middle (just as any good marriage does). Part of my transformation was in realizing everything he does for me. It may not be what I think will help at the moment, but he was genuinely trying... and that's all that mattered! He loved me and he was doing everything he could to make our relationship work!
The spoiling part that I mentioned previously involves his giving nature. Example(s):
1) He's always helping me in one way or another with theatre stuff. Building sets, going over lines, doing whatever anyone asks him to do (if he can)... and all with a good attitude. He doesn't let me know how much he might be hating it at the moment, he just does what needs to be done, cracking jokes all along the way.
2) The first 2 times we went camping, I froze. Last year, on our vacation, we had planned on doing some camping in the Rockies. John made sure I had any and everything I might even possibly need. He got me a 0-degree sleeping bag and the mat to go underneath it. He spent a lot of money on just a pair of pants that would keep me warm. He even bought a heater for the tent, just in case! How sweet is that?!
3) I have now been through 2 cars since we got married and am newly on my 3rd. He does love his truck, I'll admit. But he's also drooled over newer ones over the years, but always puts my safety/needs over his.
One final example involves something that happened last night. We were talking about how our families bonded when we were growing up. His bonded at the lake. Mine, I felt, mostly seemed to bond around a piano. We'd sing together all of the time. Mom would play as we'd all sing various songs, pulling music books with favorites off of the shelves. We'd harmonize, sometimes singing the same notes and yelling at each other "Get off my note!" before breaking into laughter. It was fun. Christmastime would usually involve even more singing until recent years. Now... I miss it. My old home is no longer home. It's filled with practically empty rooms... and no piano. Nothing to really remind us of those times except the dining room table we still gather around occasionally.
Anyway... as I was reminiscing about this and the "home" feel, John started scanning around the living room. I knew immediately what he was thinking before he said it. "We don't really have a place for a piano in here," he said with a disappointed tone. And that's so like him. He wants to give me that 'home' feel as much as possible. I told him it that I knew that. He bought me a keyboard a few years back and I can't even find a place to keep it set up... therefore, I don't play. But his concern and desire to see me that much happier, was like a kiss to heal my heart. Regardless of where we live or what's going on in our lives, I am at "home" when I'm with John... and I praise God for that.
And then there's the way he takes care of me. We've been married 8 1/2 years and he still opens doors (including my car door) for me. Not because I can't, but because, as he says, he "wants to show that he honors me" by doing so. He provides for our little family of 2... which will hopefully expand one of these days. He encourages me and holds me on those rare occasions where I actually cry. He puts my needs above his, which constantly makes me strive to do the same for him.
More than anything, the thing I think I appreciate the most about John is that he's taught me what love really is. Ephesians 5:25 says, "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her..." I don't think I ever would have understood this verse and the following verses had I not married John. He's told me over and over (in our 'newly' years of marriage, especially) that love is not just a word, but an action. After I realized that, though we may speak different love languages, he was loving me in his own way, it made me appreciate him all the more. The poor guy just kept trying to make me happy, even though what would make me happy would constantly change!
Love is a two-way street. When I finally learned to love him the ways he needed to be loved, our relationship grew dramatically. It was no longer me trying to do things this way while he was trying things another way... we kind of... met in the middle (just as any good marriage does). Part of my transformation was in realizing everything he does for me. It may not be what I think will help at the moment, but he was genuinely trying... and that's all that mattered! He loved me and he was doing everything he could to make our relationship work!
The spoiling part that I mentioned previously involves his giving nature. Example(s):
1) He's always helping me in one way or another with theatre stuff. Building sets, going over lines, doing whatever anyone asks him to do (if he can)... and all with a good attitude. He doesn't let me know how much he might be hating it at the moment, he just does what needs to be done, cracking jokes all along the way.
2) The first 2 times we went camping, I froze. Last year, on our vacation, we had planned on doing some camping in the Rockies. John made sure I had any and everything I might even possibly need. He got me a 0-degree sleeping bag and the mat to go underneath it. He spent a lot of money on just a pair of pants that would keep me warm. He even bought a heater for the tent, just in case! How sweet is that?!
3) I have now been through 2 cars since we got married and am newly on my 3rd. He does love his truck, I'll admit. But he's also drooled over newer ones over the years, but always puts my safety/needs over his.
One final example involves something that happened last night. We were talking about how our families bonded when we were growing up. His bonded at the lake. Mine, I felt, mostly seemed to bond around a piano. We'd sing together all of the time. Mom would play as we'd all sing various songs, pulling music books with favorites off of the shelves. We'd harmonize, sometimes singing the same notes and yelling at each other "Get off my note!" before breaking into laughter. It was fun. Christmastime would usually involve even more singing until recent years. Now... I miss it. My old home is no longer home. It's filled with practically empty rooms... and no piano. Nothing to really remind us of those times except the dining room table we still gather around occasionally.
Anyway... as I was reminiscing about this and the "home" feel, John started scanning around the living room. I knew immediately what he was thinking before he said it. "We don't really have a place for a piano in here," he said with a disappointed tone. And that's so like him. He wants to give me that 'home' feel as much as possible. I told him it that I knew that. He bought me a keyboard a few years back and I can't even find a place to keep it set up... therefore, I don't play. But his concern and desire to see me that much happier, was like a kiss to heal my heart. Regardless of where we live or what's going on in our lives, I am at "home" when I'm with John... and I praise God for that.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Random: Blogging & Summers
Okay... so last week, I had this nice little post going that wasn't even getting too long. Then I realized it wasn't in the font I wanted, highlighted the whole thing to change it, it did an automatic save... and I lost all of it. This, unfortunately, was all it took to make me mad enough not to write it again for a while.
Moving on...
I was writing about "One Very Long Summer". It mainly conveyed how, growing up, I went to school with many of the same people. (Some would move in and out of our lives, some repeatedly, but the changes usually seemed pretty gradual.) During the summer, we wouldn't see each other much (unless we were close friends or there was a pool party), but we'd come back in August ready to see what all had happened during the summer months.
I'm a bit of an introvert. Some people don't know this about me. I didn't even know it until after I finished college... I think. It's always been hard for me to just go up and talk to people I don't know... or even people I do know, if I don't know them really well! I hope that my introversion didn't come across as snobbery in school, but I fear that in many circumstances, it probably did.
ANYWAY... what I was getting at with the introversion thing is that even I, introvert though I was, even I looked forward to seeing everyone after a summer. And now, as we are coming upon our 10-year reunion next year, I keep thinking about how those years have kinda felt like a really long summer to me. I've seen many friends I graduated with here and there over the years, just as I did during those summer months growing up. I've spent time with those who I was closest with, growing those friendships even more in so many ways. But I still can't believe how fast the time has flown. High school doesn't feel like it's almost 10 years in my past... it feels like it was just yesterday.
And, having been around the same people for so many years, I am always excited to see and hear about what's going on with them now. Facebook has been great for that (even though I usually just watch statuses... never know what to say in a comment). Not everyone will make it to the reunion, I know, I may not even make it, but... I wish I could express the connection I feel to the classmates I grew up with. Even though I haven't seen many of them since the night we graduated, I feel like it was a few months ago (like a summer), and I still care about them just as much. Maybe that's the way it will always be. How can you just blot out the first 18+/- years of your life? Each person that I knew even just a little, influenced my life in one way or another in who I became. There are so many I admire, so many I've been cheering for... so many we will all miss. But, if any of you are reading this, know that even though I may not know what to say, you are still a part of my life and I think about you often.
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Random: What's Not Happening
Busy-ness seems to be a recurring theme in my life. We don't have any children yet and I don't work full-time, but I'm always "busy" with one thing or another.
I took this year off from doing any theater. I still go and I try to help a little here and there, but I'm not in anything. Ever since John and I got married I've never said, "Okay... I'm not going to do any theater this year so I can spend more time with you." Last December I got pretty convicted of this and told him what I had decided to do for 2010. He didn't object (and seemed pretty happy with my decision).
Thankfully, we both know that I'll be plunging back in next year. He's very supportive of me doing it and is so sweet in actually wanting me to be involved. He knows how much I love it, just as I know how much he loves photography, and we support each other as best we can with our hobbies.
Recently, I had seriously thought about going back to school and going into nursing. John replanted the idea in my head this time (for I had contemplated it before). But as we looked over everything I'd have to do, during school as well as after graduation, he said, "You wouldn't be able to do theater." I said, "I know. But maybe I'll just have to give it up, at least for a while." His response: "You can't give up theater. You love doing it too much." This was said as if the decision had been made, but I still debated the issue in my mind for a while until finally realizing I didn't have any peace whatsoever about going into nursing. So... for now... that's a no.
But even with no theater in my life this year, I have remained constantly busy. Lately, I find myself asking, "Am I do anything really productive and useful? Or am I just keeping myself busy?" I hope the former is true, but, many times, I feel like it's only the latter.
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