But you maybe wondering why my title makes no sense. It has nothing to do with how long we've been waiting. (As I've said in previous posts, I've wanted to be a mom since the first time I held a baby... and I was 6 years old.) Although John and I have been married for 9 years (the past 7 years without using any form of birth control), we'd never once been blessed to have a little one... or even a positive pregnancy test (not that I would've welcomed losing a child). Last week, however, was a different story.
I didn't really think there was any way that I could be pregnant. No morning sickness or nausea... just tired a lot (but I'd had a crazy, busy week the week before and my allergies were bothering me pretty bad... so tired sounded right). Without going into too many girlie details, let's just say I finally decided to take a home pregnancy test. I saw a (seemingly) faint 2nd line appear pretty quickly. Since it was so faint, I didn't feel like there was any way it could be right, so I did what a lot of women do... I drove to Walmart and bought 2 more boxes of pregnancy tests (just to make sure). You might think I'm nuts, but you have to remember, I'd never seen those 2 lines before... I thought my hopes were going to be dashed with a second test and so I'd need at least a 3rd to see which one was right.
Well... the second test (different brand) showed me another (seemingly) faint 2nd line. My heart started pounding/racing, my hands started shaking. I looked at the boxes of tests I'd just bought, glad I wouldn't need a 3rd to confirm. I dropped the 2nd test into the zip-lock bag I'd put the first one in. I made out some deposits so I'd have an "excuse" to be at the bank for a few minutes (this way John wouldn't think anything was up), hands shaking and heart pounding all along the way. After making the deposits (who knew a simple deposit could feel like it took forever and a day?), I made my way back to John's office.
Now... as I said before, my allergies had been bothering me quite a bit... this day was no exception. So, when I walked into John's office, all he noticed was how tired I looked. I was thankful for this, since I was trying to catch him by surprise. Ever since I was a young girl, I've always wanted to be able to surprise my husband with this kind of news and tell him in a special way that he would be a daddy. After a bit of small-talk, I finally said:
"I've got good news and bad news... which do you want first?" (Knowing he' say bad)
"Bad," he said in his 'uh-oh, what's happened' tone, not letting me down.
"Well," I began, taking a deep breath, "it looks like we might have to redo the guest bedroom..."
"What? Why?" he interjected. His tone sounded more like, "What did she do now?!" which you can't blame him for since I have lots of mishaps... but that's another story.
"Well... because of the good news..." [pause for breath] "I might be pregnant."
I pulled the zip-lock bag out of my purse and showed him the 2 tests I'd taken. His face was priceless... I hope I never forget it. He couldn't believe it either and he was so excited. Wow... makes me giddy just thinkin' about it. It was a very special moment. =)
After telling a few other people (and telling them not to tell anyone), one of them convinced me to go ahead and get the blood test done that day (instead of waiting a week, like I'd planned). After taking another home-pregnancy test (because this is just not really happening), I went and got a blood test and it came back positive, but the doctor told me if I wanted to make absolutely certain, to come back and take it again the next day around the same time to make sure the levels were rising like they should... so I did (after yet another at home test) and they were!!! It was after this second blood test that I felt like I could stop saying "might" have a baby and could move on to "am" having a baby... and it only took 4 home pregnancy tests and 2 blood tests! Haha! =)
But even now, I'll admit, it still doesn't seem real. I'll try to write more soon on what I've already been learning and what God's been showing me through all of this... But for now, I just wanted to share a bit of our happy news with you. Thank you for your prayers and for the love that you've shown us. Even before this joy was handed to us, I knew it was the prayers of others that was getting me through. Thank you.
***Oh... and for those who are wondering:
I'm 5 weeks along (in Dr. terms... not actual), due somewhere around
November 19th, I think.***
