Thanksgiving may be tomorrow but let's face it... by the time I finish writing this, it will probably BE tomorrow!
As I reflect this year on what I'm thankful for, there are so many things that I could and probably should name. But what comes to mind the most at present is laughter. Laughter is such a wonderful thing. Laughing with loved ones just makes me feel closer to them in a way, a way I can't explain. Whether you're playing a game, chatting over dinner or ice cream (or - dare I say it? - a Triple Chocolate Meltdown!), or even recollecting favorite parts of a movie... I love those feelings of being drawn closer together through laughter.
I'm not even sure how many years it's been since I first dreamed of having a little boy. I know John and I were still living in Chickasha - meaning we were basically still newlyweds. There have been many times since then that I've dreamed of him... some of those times causing a literal ache in my heart to get to meet him. Of course, I had the same feelings with Abigail when I first met her in my dreams 4-5 years ago. Abigail was an obvious joy and delight, especially with her daddy (hence the name Abigail meaning "Joy of the Father").
But even with Abigail's arrival, I hoped God would still fulfill the dreams of the past and grant us a son in the future... our little Samuel Josiah. And now, he's on the way! People keep asking me what we're going to name him. Samuel Josiah is what we picked several years ago. We love the meanings of both and it's been his name for years already! But not long after I found out I was pregnant this time around, I just wanted to call him Isaac. Isaac not only means "Child of Promise" but, even more fittingly to my life right now, it means "Laughter". I laughed hysterically when I found out we were pregnant again! John... not so much... but I have on many occasions just thinking of God's timing. (The timing being almost 10 years for Abigail and then less than 10 months before we find out another one is on the way!) I laugh at God's surprises... the good ones! I rejoice in getting to finally meet my little boy for the first time.
Last year, just a couple of weeks before Abigail was born, I remember attending a Steven Curtis Chapman concert. He picked up his ukulele and began playing, explaining that he'd asked God, "Why a ukulele?" when he'd initially felt the urge to play it. Then it was like God told him, "Because you need to smile again". He continued, "And I found out, you can't play the ukulele without smiling... and nodding your head side to side..." (Disclaimer: I'm sure it's not EXACTLY what he said... but it was along those lines and you get the idea.)
At that point, I could smile and appreciate what was meant in the story. I knew I needed that kind of smile again, though my pain was nowhere near what that family has suffered. But when I found out this little one - who occasionally seems to dance inside of my womb - was a boy... I couldn't and can't help but think of those words: "Because you need to smile [laugh] again." So if we name him Samuel Josiah and you ever hear me call him Isaac... well... now you'll know why! He is not only my "child of promise"... he is my child of "laughter".
To sum up: This year, as I reflect on what I'm most thankful for, I'm overwhelmed by what God has done over this past year. Heartache has turned to healing, sorrow has turned to joy, and tears... well... now there's laughter that are sometimes accompanied by tears! But more than just laughter in itself, God has been bringing me back to a place of trusting Him and remembering that He is faithful. He's been reminding me what it's like to laugh (sometimes, for seemingly no reason at all)!
Wednesday, November 21, 2012
Saturday, November 3, 2012
To Abigail on her 1st Birthday!
My sweet, baby girl. If the years ahead go by as fast as this past year has, we're in for a quick ride! As I write this, I recall this time last year... I was just admitted to the hospital to have you (but it would be another 12+ hours before you arrived). Then you finally came and disappeared to the NICU for the next 10 days. During those times, I knew you would be alright, but I couldn't wait to bring you home.
Here we are a year later and I cannot believe how it has flown by! I don't want to recount a bunch of things you can read in your scrapbook. I just want you to know a few things about what I've enjoyed about you this past year.
1) You are here! I still can't believe it... and it's been a year! I'm so thankful that God finally brought you into our lives.
2) I love the way your daddy absolutely melts with you. Ever since you were born, the smallest glimmer of attention you gave to him as if to say "I love you" (which has been in many forms such as an incredibly well-timed burp or toot, the steady looks you give him, the smiles, the laughs, the conversations we can't understand yet) has constantly captured his heart. Yes... he's a goner for you... but I don't see that as a bad thing.
3) Going to Walmart. This may sound weird, especially since it can be frustrating at times (like those first few months when I'd try to feed you while pushing/steering the cart and holding the carrier in place), but the attention you get never ceases to amaze me. The way people talk to you - and you talk back to them - and the way you give smiles to pretty much all you come in contact with - always receiving smiles in return... you are a social-bug like your daddy, that's all there is to it.
4) I know a lot of these seem to have to do with Daddy, but he is "the fun one" after all. I love watching how excited you get when he comes home. And how, lately, you'll see him grab his phone and/or keys and immediately start saying "bye-bye" and waving. You get upset at night if you haven't spend enough time with Daddy... melting him enough to give you all the time you want with him. I love watching you play with him and the way he makes you laugh.
5) I love our bedtime routine. It's getting a bit more difficult for me to make it out of the recliner while holding you, but I still enjoy getting to read to you and sing to you, all while rocking you. And then there are those times I take you back to your room, as Daddy says "nighty-night" and you just start saying "bye-bye" and waving... cracks us up.
6) I love watching you talk to your toys. I always wonder what's going through your mind and what you are really saying, but it never gets old to watch you try to interact with things.
7) I love it when a song comes on that you like and you start dancing. I can only hope that your dancing abilities are far better than mine! (You've always had a good sense of rhythm though... so there's a start.)
8) I love watching you be outside. The look of awe and wonder has always been all over your face when you are out there. The way you used to try to capture the sunlight or the wind in your little hand, the way you try to "catch" wind in your mouth... you are always happy if you are outside - another of your Daddy's qualities.
9) I love the way you show excitement with your whole body, especially your legs! Whether we're playing or you see Daddy come home, I love watching those legs start going and you squeal with delight!
10) I love watching you with your stuffed animals. If they "give you kisses" you practically maul them right back.
11) I love that one of your first words was "pretty"... though it sounds more like "pahity"... and that you say it most every time I open your closet.
12) I love to watch you with jewelry. Your fascination with it has been there since birth and it absolutely cracks me up. You love accessories that sparkle, and notice when something is missing.
Abigail, there's so much more I could write, I'm sure, but my eyes are heavy and you'll be awake before I know it. But as the clock begins to switch over to your actual birthday, I want you to know a couple of things:
*I love you so very much. Your daddy loves you as if you were the only daughter ever born in this world. We will not be perfect parents... but everything we do, I hope, will always be out of love and for your best (as best we know how).
*Our love is incomparable to the love God has for you. I hope His love is something you will never doubt, but will always cling to. I pray you will come to know and love Him from an early age... and that you will continue to follow Him and grow in a relationship with Him for the rest of your life.
Father, we thank You for the past year with Abigail, the precious gift You have entrusted to our care. We thank You for the blessing she is and the joy she brings to our lives. I know there are times we get frustrated, but thank You for carrying us through. Thank You for Your protection and special care over her this past year. You have taught me so much with her and I look forward to watching her grow up with the sibling You're sending us in a few months. Thank You for loving us the way You do. She's been more than I ever dreamed she'd be to us... and DEFINITELY worth the wait. Thank You so much!
Here we are a year later and I cannot believe how it has flown by! I don't want to recount a bunch of things you can read in your scrapbook. I just want you to know a few things about what I've enjoyed about you this past year.
1) You are here! I still can't believe it... and it's been a year! I'm so thankful that God finally brought you into our lives.
2) I love the way your daddy absolutely melts with you. Ever since you were born, the smallest glimmer of attention you gave to him as if to say "I love you" (which has been in many forms such as an incredibly well-timed burp or toot, the steady looks you give him, the smiles, the laughs, the conversations we can't understand yet) has constantly captured his heart. Yes... he's a goner for you... but I don't see that as a bad thing.
3) Going to Walmart. This may sound weird, especially since it can be frustrating at times (like those first few months when I'd try to feed you while pushing/steering the cart and holding the carrier in place), but the attention you get never ceases to amaze me. The way people talk to you - and you talk back to them - and the way you give smiles to pretty much all you come in contact with - always receiving smiles in return... you are a social-bug like your daddy, that's all there is to it.
4) I know a lot of these seem to have to do with Daddy, but he is "the fun one" after all. I love watching how excited you get when he comes home. And how, lately, you'll see him grab his phone and/or keys and immediately start saying "bye-bye" and waving. You get upset at night if you haven't spend enough time with Daddy... melting him enough to give you all the time you want with him. I love watching you play with him and the way he makes you laugh.
5) I love our bedtime routine. It's getting a bit more difficult for me to make it out of the recliner while holding you, but I still enjoy getting to read to you and sing to you, all while rocking you. And then there are those times I take you back to your room, as Daddy says "nighty-night" and you just start saying "bye-bye" and waving... cracks us up.
6) I love watching you talk to your toys. I always wonder what's going through your mind and what you are really saying, but it never gets old to watch you try to interact with things.
7) I love it when a song comes on that you like and you start dancing. I can only hope that your dancing abilities are far better than mine! (You've always had a good sense of rhythm though... so there's a start.)
8) I love watching you be outside. The look of awe and wonder has always been all over your face when you are out there. The way you used to try to capture the sunlight or the wind in your little hand, the way you try to "catch" wind in your mouth... you are always happy if you are outside - another of your Daddy's qualities.
9) I love the way you show excitement with your whole body, especially your legs! Whether we're playing or you see Daddy come home, I love watching those legs start going and you squeal with delight!
10) I love watching you with your stuffed animals. If they "give you kisses" you practically maul them right back.
11) I love that one of your first words was "pretty"... though it sounds more like "pahity"... and that you say it most every time I open your closet.
12) I love to watch you with jewelry. Your fascination with it has been there since birth and it absolutely cracks me up. You love accessories that sparkle, and notice when something is missing.
Abigail, there's so much more I could write, I'm sure, but my eyes are heavy and you'll be awake before I know it. But as the clock begins to switch over to your actual birthday, I want you to know a couple of things:
*I love you so very much. Your daddy loves you as if you were the only daughter ever born in this world. We will not be perfect parents... but everything we do, I hope, will always be out of love and for your best (as best we know how).
*Our love is incomparable to the love God has for you. I hope His love is something you will never doubt, but will always cling to. I pray you will come to know and love Him from an early age... and that you will continue to follow Him and grow in a relationship with Him for the rest of your life.
Father, we thank You for the past year with Abigail, the precious gift You have entrusted to our care. We thank You for the blessing she is and the joy she brings to our lives. I know there are times we get frustrated, but thank You for carrying us through. Thank You for Your protection and special care over her this past year. You have taught me so much with her and I look forward to watching her grow up with the sibling You're sending us in a few months. Thank You for loving us the way You do. She's been more than I ever dreamed she'd be to us... and DEFINITELY worth the wait. Thank You so much!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)